Giving performance feedback is a part of every people leader’s job. And yet, in my work with these leaders and teams, I’ve found that they often have negative mental models of what a feedback conversation is supposed to look like. Those pre-conceived notions can act as a barrier to giving timely, helpful, and honest performance feedback. Part of my job as a coach and facilitator is to help challenge people’s mindsets about what makes giving feedback so hard.
Overcome Your Fear of Giving Feedback
Managers often have pre-conceived notions that can act as a barrier to giving timely, helpful, and honest performance feedback. Three of the most common preconceived notions are: 1) the feedback conversation is going to be long and drawn out; 2) the feedback needs to be perfect; and 3) the feedback might be taken the wrong way. It’s understandable that you don’t want to upset your direct reports. Nevertheless, other people’s reactions and responses to feedback are largely out of your control. Whether an employee takes it personally, gets defensive, bursts into tears, rejects it, questions it, or accepts the feedback is based on many extenuating factors. However, you do need to commit to making your part of the conversation as helpful and productive as possible. This includes articulating a positive intention for the feedback, being clear about what you’re observing and requesting, naming the impact, focusing on strengths, developing actionable next steps, and delivering the feedback with care and curiosity.